Harry Potter and the Happy Vampire
by perionan
Summary: YAY!~ My first HP, posted, fanfiction. Give me a chance! At least read the summary and if you don't want to read the story fine by me. It's H/D slash. enjoy!
1. insanely long prologue

Title: Harry Potter and the Happy Vampire  
  
Author: Me. Perionan  
  
Rating: as of now it is Pg-13 for a little language maybe? Might go up!  
  
Pairing(s): this is definitely a Harry/Draco or at least it will be. As for others? Well, we'll see.  
  
Summary: When a mysterious women shows up to Hogwarts to teach Advanced DADA Draco begins finding things out about himself and his family's past. Harry notices that things are different, Hermione's afraid she's getting stupid, and Ron's contempt for our favorite blonde Slytherin is getting confusing. It's a story of history, action, a little romance, and things that go bump in the night.  
  
Warnings: I aint gonna call slash a warning. I find that offensive thank you.  
  
Disclaimer: please, I'm to stoopid to have written Harry Potter. This sad excuse for a story is mine but anything you recognize isn't.  
  
A/N: Boy! I've noticed that I really suck at summaries! So yeah, this is my first ever fan-fiction that I am posting. Be kind. Actually, I wouldn't mind a flame or two, they sound like fun! I love Harry/Draco pairings and Snape is just sexy. *Daydreams about Alan Rickman* Oh yeah, so, um. Thankies for reading, yeah. ~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 1: Old Friend  
  
Dumbledore sighed as he looked out over the inky blackness of the night from a window in his office. Summer holidays were on and, as usual during the summer hols, the Hogwarts castle was empty and peaceful save for the staff and a select few oddities that came to visit. All was quiet and the emptiness hung about the castle like a heavy blanket. Dumbledore hated it. He felt so lonely and bored when his castle wasn't filled with the happy and carefree faces of his eager to learn students. The buzz of excitement that seemed to fill the Hogwarts castle during the school year was gone now, leaving an agitated and bored headmaster in its wake.  
  
Dumbledore sighed again and continued to look out over the night sky when something caught his eye. It was a shadow riding the night breeze and with a blink of an eye it was gone. Dumbledore blinked again and looked more closely at the night when heard the door to his office open, then quietly click closed. Dumbledore smiled and sat back in his chair. "Nice to see you again, Irus." He said without taking his eyes from the stars.  
  
*  
  
A shadow shifted by the door and a dark, looming figure snuck up behind the elderly headmaster in his chair at the window. The office was eerily quiet, save for the heavy breathing of the old man. The figure silently raised its hand above its head and brought it back down, hard, on Albus's back.  
  
"Heya there, Dumblydoo!" announced the dark and eerie, night creature. Headmaster Dumbledore coughed and spluttered as he turned to address his 'attacker.'  
  
With wide eyes the headmaster stared up into the slanted shockingly purple eyes and white, pointed teeth that smiled down at him through a Cheshire grin. Albus smiled himself and shook his head.  
  
"My dear Irus." He said, standing up to embrace the young looking women, "I was hoping that you'd change within the last seventy years. I'm an old man now and one of these days you'll end up giving me a heart attack with all your surprises."  
  
Irus chuckled as she let go of the headmaster and followed him to a coffee table to sit. "Please Dumblydoo; I haven't changed in over 600 years! What's another 70 to tack on to my rather long life?" Albus shook his and let his face light up with another smile.  
  
"It is good to see you again my ghoulish friend. So, tell me. What have you and Agnus been up to all this time? Where is that young and handsome man that you drag all over the place anyway? I would really like to see him again too!" With a wave of Albus's wand, a tea kettle and a cup appeared out of thin air. "Can I get you something to drink Irus? A chicken? Or perhaps a pig would do nicely?"  
  
Irus pulled a face and rolled her eyes. "Ha, ha, ha. Very funny you old man. I don't need anything thank you. I ate before I came. As for what Agnus and I have been doing all this time? Well, nothing much really. After Agnus and I left you after that Grynwelsh. Grandold. um. Greyfunk. whatever, incident we made our way back to San Francisco where we stayed until just a year or so ago." Dumbledore nodded his head and sipped at his tea.  
  
"Well then, what brings you back to England? You've seen the country already many times and you couldn't have possibly come all this way just to see little ol` me."  
  
Irus smiled a nervous sort of smile, and started playing with the fringe on the table cloth. "Actually, um, Voldemort summoned Agnus and me." If Dumbledore was the type to spit tea out at shocking moments in a conversation, he probably would've done so. However, since he was more controlled and civilized than that, here merely stared wide eyed at Irus while he sat his tea down on the table.  
  
"Y-you joined Voldemort? M-may I ask why?"  
  
"Oh, Albus. Don't look at me like that. He promised us gold, beautiful things, and even some of his deatheaters for a little treat." At Albus's mortified look Irus thought it a good idea to continue. "Albus I don't care about those things. I could care less about possessions and beautiful things, you know that. I went for my own reasons, and Agnus went because I did."  
  
"You went for your own reasons? I expect you'll tell me these reasons at a later date, right?" At Irus's enthusiastic head shaking, Albus went on. "So you went for your own reasons. I can understand that, I think. Were there others?" He looked expectantly at Irus, hoping the answer to be no. If the light had to fight an army of vampires there was no hope for them. Irus looked down at the table cloth she'd been fiddling with the whole time and nodded. Albus shut his eyes and brought his fingers up to his head to rub at his temples. He looked centuries older in this moment and Irus could see that his frail body would not last through another decade of war and fighting. She immediately felt bitter at time and how quickly it seemed to snatch your loved ones away. She couldn't stand losing everyone she had loved through time. Albus was looking at her when she took her eyes off the table cloth to look at her friend.  
  
"What?" she asked.  
  
"I thought vampires were neutral. Why all of a sudden are they turning to Voldemort? What else is that monstrosity gathering up?"  
  
Irus looked down again. She wouldn't be able to bear the look she would receive when she told the headmaster. "We are neutral by nature Albus, but we're also very greedy. If given the right price, some of us will do anything. I'm sorry Albus, my dear friend, but the Dark Lord is gathering up a pretty sizable army of demons, vampires, giants, and other night creatures. Even a few rogue elves have joined league with Him. I don't know what to tell you to make you feel better. I can't think of anything. Agnus is still over there trying to talk them out of joining Voldemort. However, he is having a hard time of it. Some of the older vamps are still bitter about us helping you 70 years ago. Pfft, bunch of hypocrites if you ask me."  
  
Albus shook his head and sipped at his tea. Underneath his calm exterior, the headmaster was being filled with a sense of panic. He didn't know what he was going to do. The elves were supposed to be completely neutral, along with the pixies, the trolls and other Fairy creatures. They don't get involved in human affairs even if some of their own kind did. They would not lead an army to help the side of the light. He was lost.  
  
Irus and Dumbledore sat in silence for a long time and Irus was starting to get uncomfortable. Dumbledore was usually very talkative and he being so quiet all of a sudden was driving the poor vampire completely nutty. She was about to break the stillness when the headmaster beat her to it.  
  
"Why are you here? If you joined Voldemort, then why are you here? Shouldn't you at least be helping Agnus stop the demon army?" The tone of Albus's voice made Irus flinch. It was his 'you're not making me happy with this information and now I hate you' voice. It was really quite annoying. However, she wouldn't let this old man get to her like that. She looked him squarely in the eye and puffed out her chest. If Albus was going to resort back to being little mister whiney child then so be it.  
  
"You listen to me mister. I will not be spoken to in such a manner. I thought you grew out of your selfish 'I want everything to go my way' stage.' We are trying to help you. I am here to pursue my own interests but to also help you gather an army. Have a little more respect for your elders." Irus smirked, "you don't want me to pull you over my knee again now do you?"  
  
Albus looked right back at her before bursting into laughter. "I'm sorry my old friend. I didn't mean to be so childish." He giggled and wiped a tear from his eye. "I'm just not particularly happy with this news. I do appreciate your help. Now please, tell me, what is it that brings you to my castle?"  
  
Irus smiled back at him before replying, "Voldemort tried to kill me." She said it as if she were commenting on the weather and not the threat on her life. Albus raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Indeed?"  
  
Irus nodded, "yep. With the killing curse no less. I've never seen an act of such stupidity in a long time. It's quite refreshing." Irus looked at the headmaster who was looking at her expectedly. "Oh! I wouldn't call Him master or bow down to him, and I insulted one of his plans." An 'ah' could be heard from Albus before Irus continued. "Yeah, so the little shit asked to talk to me and then, boom, he hit me with the killing curse. It really hurt and left me immobile for quite some. However, it didn't stop me from making many threats on Voldie's life. The coward left before any damage could be done and I went into a raging fury. I screamed and hollered, when I was able to, and began killing off deatheaters before my colleagues stopped me. I then asked around and learned that I could come here and still pursue my interests."  
  
"Mmm, quite the story you have there. Well, I suppose there's nothing left to do other than offer you a job. I know that you have a vast knowledge of the wizarding world and that you have much to offer my students. I'll be honored to have you on my teaching staff. " At this Irus clapped her hands in excitement and exclaimed how happy she was before giving her old friend a rather bone crushing hug. The rest of the night was spent talking about life, happy things, and what would be appropriate for Irus to teach. Irus was amazed at how many rules there were when it came to teaching children these days and it really disappointed her.  
  
"I still can't believe the leniency on punishment! We can't even hang them by their toes from the ceiling anymore?! What an outrage! No wonder these kids are so weak these days!" Albus chuckled at his friend's indignation for the school rules.  
  
*  
  
TBC Yay! I finished the insanely long prologue thing! Please, review! I'll love you. I also need to know if it's worth continuing this. I already have the first chapter written, I just need to know if you want it. If one person wants it than it's worth it and my ego will be so happy! The title will most likely change. I don't like it. Any suggestions? Aack! I better stop this. REVIEW! 


	2. ch 1

Yay! The first chapter! See the.um. prologue thingy for the disclaimer, the other stuff, and um. yeah. OK! Well I have thankies for the following three reviewers:  
  
Lestat-I fixed the paragraphing stoof.  
  
AirliaStar- Thankies for the advice. Irus is just that kind of person.  
  
Rtael- Well here it is!  
  
Onward! To the story and. um stuff.  
  
I almost forgot! ** are surrounding Harry's thoughts and // are surrounding Draco's.  
  
*  
  
Harry Potter stepped through the portal and onto the platform of 9 ¾. He smiled in relief at finally being able to go back to Hogwarts for another school year. The summer at the Dursley's was long and un-eventful, despite a new freedom for him to use magic outside of the school. It was only for emergencies, however, and would have the ministry breathing down his neck in seconds if he were to use it. This new freedom was due to an attack on Minister Fudge's home during the summer of Harry's fifth year. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your opinion of the minister, Fudge was at work late and was not harmed. Unfortunately his dog was found dead the next day, his blood used to write the words "Viva le Dark Lord" on the wall. (Poor Fluffy!) The minister, finally agreeing that the He-Who- Must-Not-Be-Named had been resurrected, or whatever, gave Harry permission to do magic in order to protect himself should anything try to attack him.  
  
Even though Harry now had permission to do magic he avoided it as much as possible. During the end of the summer before sixth year, he used a bit of magic to pack his belongings into his trunk and immediately had the ministry along with a few aurors show up at his house claiming Harry was in danger and that they needed to help him. They wouldn't leave until the house was checked over many times, insisting that Harry only use magic in case of an emergency. Harry hasn't used magic outside of the school since and frankly he really didn't want to if that was to be the reaction every time he used it. He also couldn't visit his friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, because 'it is far too dangerous for Harry to leave the safety of his home.' Needless to say he had a miserable time and was quite happy to see his 'family' again and to return to Hogwarts.  
  
Harry searched around for a group of red heads and a crop of flowy brown hair (Hermione managed to grow out of the bushy-ness just last year) when he spotted the Malfoys. Lucius Malfoy had a firm grip on his son's neck and was speaking to him in hushed tones. Draco Malfoy didn't look at all pleased and seemed to be trying to hide any pain he felt at his father's cruel touch. Harry was about to look away, to continue finding his friends, when he noticed something odd about Malfoy. Instead of the silver blond hair that was continuously slicked back out of Malfoy's face, was a mop of slightly darker hair that was free of gel and a little longer than what he normally had it. The color was still blond but not as white as it used to be, with iridescent, shimmering highlights that gave the color an almost auburn quality when the sun hit it. Also, Draco's skin tone was a little lighter, a little whiter. *Guess he was inside a lot during the summer.* Harry thought as he continued analyzing his enemy. It was strange, but Draco's skin seemed to glow with the sun as if it were reflecting the rays right off it. All in all the whole picture of Malfoy was quite beautiful, in an almost scary, unearthly kind of way.  
  
Harry was dragged away form his thoughts, never noticing that Malfoy was staring right back at him, by a petite brown haired girl that was in the process of flinging herself onto the poor boy. "Hi Harry! I've missed you so much!" chimed Hermione.  
  
Harry smiled and returned the hug, "I've missed you to. Where's Ron?" he asked.  
  
"Looking for you! Come on, let's go find him." Hermione grabbed Harry's hand and dragged him off into the crowd to find their friend.  
  
*  
  
Draco Malfoy was not happy! He'd been listening to his father lecture him on the importance of staying loyal to the Dark Lord for the past half hour. /It's truly amazing how he can go on and on about a subject when everything has already been said. I do believe that 'Malfoys do not blab' is another family virtue. Well, he's really shooting that one to hell isn't he?/  
  
His father was using fear tactics and pain to make sure Draco was paying attention and would not falter in his loyalty. The hand at the back of his neck was in a death grip and holding much tighter than necessary and, to be honest, it was quite painful. Add little whacks from Lucius's cane for emphasis on certain points and you end up with a rather unpleasant experience. A year ago Draco was really looking forward to becoming a deatheater with his father, but now that he was one he was realizing that it wasn't all cracked up to what he thought it would be. /I swear I'm going to end up with arthritis in the knees or something from all this bowing and kissing robes and "Oh have mercy on me my Lord"s. Bloody ridiculous./ he thought to himself.  
  
Lucius smacked Draco across his face, snapping him away from his thoughts. "Listen to me boy. This is important. Pay attention and stop daydreaming. You will be meeting a contact at Hogwarts. You'll know who she is when you see her. You have to go to her; she will not be expecting you to be her contact. Remember that." Draco once again shut Lucius out. He already knew all he needed to know. He would be meeting a contact, a woman, that he'll recognize upon seeing her but she won't recognize him. He has to administer the first meeting; most likely they will exchange information about orders or news about the goings on at Hogwarts. No problem.  
  
Draco was about to commence feeling sorry for himself when he noticed Potter emerge from the barrier. Draco watched out of the corner of his eye as Potter started looking around over the tops of people's heads. /Stupid Potter/ he thought /probably looking for the Weasel and that mudblood friend of his./ He sneered at the thought of Potter's good for nothing friends. /You're worthless with those sorts of friends Potter. When will you learn?/ Potter looked his way and Draco quickly jerked his head, snapping his eyes away from Potter. Lucius applied more pressure to Draco's neck. It took a lot of effort for Draco not wince or cry out from the pain.  
  
"Pain attention boy!" his father hissed at him, hitting him on his ankles with his cane. Draco tuned his father out and let his eyes slide back to Potter. /Is he staring at me? Why is he staring at me? You pervert Potter, stop staring at me and go find your stupid friends!/ Draco tried to listen to his father in order to ignore Potter, but Potter staring at him like that kept distracting him. /What does he find so interesting?/ he thought. Draco stared right back at Potter, paying his father absolutely no attention. Luckily Lucius never really paid attention, or even looked at, his son anymore. Every time he did look at his son, now a days, he got this uneasy look in his eyes and adverted his gaze elsewhere. So Draco was free to stare right back at Potter without being noticed.  
  
Potter must've grown somewhat over the summer. He was taller and leaner, with some definite muscle tone showing through. His clothes were form fitting and stylish instead of the baggy old things he normally wore. /He must've gone shopping. Pfft, finally./ Draco then looked to Potter's face and noticed the baby fat was all but gone and his face was thin with high cheek bones, giving him a look more like his mother's. He had new glasses that were also very stylish and his raven hair was longer and slightly wavy, tied back into a ponytail. He basically looked damn good if you get right down to it. /Not bad Potter. It's about time you grew up./ Draco approved of this new Potter. /You're still a conceited prick, I'm sure though./ Just then the stupid mudblood, Hermione Granger, bounded up and threw herself at Potter. /Slut!/ The two conversed then left, most likely to find the third of their little triad. /God! Finally! Fucking idiot!/ Several minutes later the train whistled signaling that it was about to depart. Lucius released his son.  
  
"Go, and remember what I've told you, boy. The Dark Lord will be expecting your report shortly." With that Lucius was gone with a flurry of robes.  
  
"It's about bloody, fucking time! Jesus! Stupid father and his stupid Dark Lord rants. I probably don't have a place to sit on the bloody train now!" Draco said to himself, rubbing his sore neck and making his way to the train. Boy was he glad to be away from his father for another school year. Unfortunately, this was his last year to be able to hide from his father at Hogwarts. After this, he didn't know what he was going to do about his father or the current situation he was in. /I guess I'll just have to think about that when the time comes./ He thought as he boarded the train to look for a compartment.  
  
*  
  
TBC  
  
Yay! That was the 1st chapter! I hope you enjoyed it! Coming up next, the train ride to Hogwarts. We get to hear from Ron and Hermione. We also get to meet the new Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher! It's bound to be fun, so tune in next time, to Harry Potter and the Happy Vampire. Thankies. REVIEW! 


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